if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
