Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize