Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
