you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
