it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize