Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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