This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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