Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
