so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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