I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
