Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize