PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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