I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize