How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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