So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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