Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
