Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
