You can't motorboat a personality
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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