so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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