Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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