pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
