Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
