im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
