Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
