question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
