It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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