What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
