if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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