My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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