If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize