More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
