Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
