i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize