Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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