Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
