Im at strip club and am horny
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
