I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
