Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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