ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
