I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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