I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
