so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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