Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
