Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
