his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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