Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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