I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
