Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
