Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
