the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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