Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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