The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
