Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
