Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
