Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
