I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
