i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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