You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
