Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Randomize
